The only thing I can do for Holli now is to make sure she is not forgotten and so I cannot thank each one of you enough for visiting her site. It is with a heavy heart that I cannot share her page with family members as they are still to upset to visit so you all have become like family to me and Holli. You never know sometimes what effect you have on a person with the little things that you do and I want you to know that you bring so much love with your comments, candles and gifts that you leave for Holli. Sometimes I cannot visit her site myself because the pain is to much at the moment and I take such comfort knowing that she is being visited by such wonderful people. You have so kindly kept her company for me in some of my long absences and I cannot explain how much that means to me. I want so badly to be here for her always but sometimes the pain is to hard and I cannot face it.
I just want you to know how much your visits mean to me and her father. It is a very lonely life being a parent to an angel and it helps to come on here and visit all the caring people who make time for our daughter.
Had a dream / Mom
It is 3:30 in the morning Holli and I had another dream about you. I haven't had one as strong as this in a long time so this has hit me hard once again. It is a dream that I have had before. That they made a mistake and you weren't really dead, you were just in a coma and you woke up. In my other dreams, I eventually realize that you really are dead. But tonight was different. In this one I was in a hospital talking to someone and I was telling them about you. I told them that you were dead but it had been a mistake, that you were just in a coma for three months and then you woke up. I then told them that it wasn't long after you woke up that he killed you again. For just a moment.....................I had you again. I could see you. This was just such a weird dream. It was mixed with zoey and lizzie. Bobbie told me the other day that everytime I lose one of the kids, that I grieve for you all over again. I think she is right. Zoey left for vacation for two weeks and me taking care of lizzie is up in the air at the moment and they both were in my dream. God, I just wish I could back and do all this over again. I would stay home and keep you with me. Holli, I am so mad at you sometimes for leaving me. You know I need you. NEVER did I ever see this coming. I just don't have any life left in me without you.
Tonight you were with me again if only for a moment. I love you so much Holli waddles and miss you with every beat of my heart and every breath that I take.
I know I have told you but I wanted to write it down. You are everything to me and Zackary. You have been like a sister to me for years. Then when I had Zackary you were there to help with him. I just wanted to say that I know I was there when you needed me at first but I promise that I will be here for here on out. I just want you to know that I love and will always be here for now on.
my beautiful red head / Mom Hey there waddles. I am so sorry for not writing you sooner. The tears are so fast to come when I see your beautiful face. I so wish for the day that I can remember you with nothing but smiles. I have been working on your bedroom. I am still doing it in black and white, except for Lizzies part. I am still trying to keep that more pastel. It is such a peaceful room. I love laying on the bed and listening to music with your christmas lights on. I still have them above your shelf. I am going to frame the pictures that Mr. Stu sent me and put them in there also. I found some more pictures of you and daniel yesterday. I cannot believe how little you both were. I can close my eyes and still see you with your little dresses on. And daniel with his batman towel tied around his neck. You would not believe how much he has grown. I still haven't given him his birthday money from you. I know how you like to make sure he has it on time, but you know me, I am always scattered brained without you here to keep me straight. I will make sure I give it to him soon. I don't think I will be babysitting much longer. For some reason I just have a hard time with it now. I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I need your help on that one, lol. I have been just flying by the seat of my pants since you left. I need your advice on so many things girl and I would give all my days for just one long hug from you.
I better go,
Love you holli and miss you so very much. momClose
I don't know how I have made it this long without you Holli. Yesterday I was thinking about what it would have been like if you had had a baby.
I would have been at each doctors appt and would definately been there for the labor. I know that it will not happen but for some reason it is still stuck in my mind. I can just see you calling with dozens of questions. You are like me and panic easily. You would have made a wonderful mother.
I miss you every day Holli. I never knew how much you were a part of my day to day life until you passed away. I am completely lost without you. You were the person I turned to. You were the one I called. Now its just me. And I am not me without you.
I love you my Holli waddles and I miss you more each day that you are away.
To a special Angel / Bridget Dtr Of Allan R. Peacock (United by Angels )Read >>
To a special Angel / Bridget Dtr Of Allan R. Peacock (United by Angels )
To Holli's mom
Reading the story of Holli's life made me cry. She is a very special person, and I know she is very proud to have such a special mom.
I realized that one of your precious dogs reminded me of one on my dad's site and I wanted to share him with you and Holli.
The first time I saw him it reminded me of how short life can be and how we need to take time to really let the ones we love know how much they mean to us and to let the wind blow in our hair.
It reminds me of Holli and also my dad.
I know what you mean about how hard it is for family to visit. The people in the forums ARE basically my family, and without them I don't know how I would have made it this far without my dad.
I know that Holli is spending beautiful glorious days with her precious dogs and angel friends.
Since she was such a dog lover, I know she's met my dad.
thinking of you as your remember Holli / Jacob McLeod-Steinmetz Read >>
thinking of you as your remember Holli / Jacob McLeod-Steinmetz
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Dear ^I^ Holli’s family Thinking of you all as you remember your Beautiful Holli On her 2nd Angel day I wish you a peaceful day full of love and memories of happier times With Love Jacob’s Mum
Holli,YOU ARE SO LOVED & MISSED!!!! / Debbie Hooten Angel Dustin Read >>
Holli,YOU ARE SO LOVED & MISSED!!!! / Debbie Hooten Angel Dustin
Holli, you will never be forgotten!!!! A beautiful Angel God sent to earth. Tammy I'm praying for you, asking the Lord to fill your heart with hope,& your days with wonderful memories. Tammy, You have made such a beautiful site, for Holli. I pray you can feel her close to you. Love ya, Debbie H. & Angel Dustin Close
I wish you peace.... / Vickey O'NealWoodward Read >>
I wish you peace.... / Vickey O'NealWoodward Your memorial to Holli is so lovingly presented. If angels be, then I, too, am a mom to two. My David passed at 14 days; the diagnosis was SIDS; he would be thirty-two years old. And my Michelle, like Holli, was killed by a drunk driver in September, 2000; she was fourteen then and would be twenty-two now. Time only softens the edges of the pain and makes me better at pulling together a survivor's mask. The dark times, though, still come achingly and tearfully often: the tears, the sadness, the memories that we can make no more of with my dear Belle, especially. I know your pain, and I wish you peace.Close
My love and thoughts are with you as your precious Holli's birthday approaches. I pray you will have a gentle day with many wonderful signs from your beautiful Holli.
Happy 23rd Birthday / Jacobs Mum
Happy Birthday in Heaven Holli have a wonderful day as your family celebrates the day you came into their lives send Angel kisses down for your mum I know how much they would mean to her with love always Jacob's Mum www.caringbridge.org/me/jacob
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Tributes and Condolences
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL HOLLI
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